Wives' Antics
by Eclipse du Coeur
Summary: No one said happily ever after. First comes love then marriage. What happens after marriage then? Just CRACK. Read if you are crack. R&R if you are cracker.


**Wives' Antics**

By: **Eclipse Du Coeur**

**Disclaimer: **Gakuen Alice is not mine.

**Warning: The following story you'll read has no sense. Beware!**

**Episode 1 Battle of the Toothpaste**

It was a bright sunny day in the Hyuuga Household. Never a dull moment when it comes to the residence where Mikan Sakura-Hyuuga and Natsume Hyuuga live. Combining loud-mouthed Mikan and stoic Natsume, just the right mix. The neighbors can testify the nerve-wrecking mornings they are all used to. A day will never be complete unless the screams, sounds of shattering glasses and laughters can be heard.

"Honey! Can you come over here for a while?" Mikan, the wife, called out. She held her trustworthy pink hello kitty toothbrush with her right hand while clutching the pitiful new toothpaste with her left. Droplets of water tainted the bathroom mirror which reflected a contemplating face of the heroine.

A Natsume Hyuuga wearing a polka-dotted apron appeared on the bathroom door. "What's wrong, dear?" he asked while holding a ladle. He scrunched his eyebrows when he noticed the comical look of his wife. The ethereal being infront of him, clad in a robe, was acting like a kid inside the bathroom.

"Have you brushed your teeth already?" she asked.

The man blushed from the mention of his hygiene. "Of course! What do you think of me?" he hollered, feeling insulted.

"So it means you're the one who used this?" she held up the toothpaste.

"Dear, how am i going to brush my teeth without it?" he countered, folding his arms on his chest.

"Why did you pinch it on the head?" she pointed at the pressed part near the cover. "Don't you know how hard it will be to get some before it empties?" she huffed.

"Don't you know that you need to exert more effort just to push the damn paste out when you start at the tail?" he then leaned on the wall near the sink.

"No, it's not! The effort won't be in vain compared to when it nearly empties," she gritted her teeth.

"I'm the one who bought that toothpaste," he twirled the laddle with his hand.

"Yeah and that's why I endure a spicy and minty mouth throughout the day," she narrowed her eyes. "I told you tu buy a cherry-flavored one."

"That's so girly and I'm a man."

"How about me? I'm a girl. Don't you care about me anymore?" pity tears started falling down. His eyebrows twitched.

"Don't you love me anymore?" she turned around and began to sob. Natsume bit his lower lip and hugged her from behind.

"Sshh.." he blew his bangs and sighed. "Alright, I'm going to buy your favorite toothpaste. Just don't cry on me," he turned her around.

She hugged him again and smirked from behind. Faking a sob, she muttered a thank you. 'Oh the wonders of what tears can do to her husband,' she thought.

"Honey, the couch is on call for you tonight if you burn our food!" she yelled.

"Oh crap!" and the husband ran into the kitchen.

Later that night, the wife stretched on her bed. No obstruction can be felt because her martyr of a husband burnt their food and was settled on the couch, sleeping soundly. She grinned wildly.

The phone rang and she grabbed it immediately. "The coast is clear, Mikan speaking," she already knew who called, her accomplice.

"So what happened?" Hotaru Imai-Nogi asked.

"The tears worked again. Oh, I am so using it always!" she squeeled.

"Baka. Don't overuse it. He'll get suspicious sooner or later," she shrugged.

"Well, use it while it last. Atleast I'm getting what I want. I got that very cute pink oven, the latest upgrade of my laptop, the sparkly clock from the central town and the list goes on. And today he promised to buy Paris Hilton's toothpaste! You know how much i want it," she cheered.

"Well, a while ago, Ruka promised me the renovation of my lab," Hotaru said, non-chalantly.

"Really? But you can afford it right away," she wondered.

"I can but him paying for it saves me a lot of trouble," Mikan turned to look at her husband's sleeping face.

"Oh, I think I need Natsume to bring me to the newly built mall downtown. That would be the last for this month," she snuggled to her pillow. Natsume's scent flooded her nose. "Want to go shopping together?" she asked.

"Alright, Nogi needs his credit card ready for me," she heard rustling of sheets from Hotaru's side. "Gonna Sleep. Bye,"

"Bye," she hung up and put back the phone on the table.

"Now, all I need is something to get me to that mall," she grinned. 'Natsume' she thought and drifted off to sleep.

**Epsiode 2 The Bill on my Hand**

His eyebrows twitched. He narrowed his eyes to the poor paper on his hand. Those numbers irritated him and he wanted answers. Right now.

"Mikan Sakura Hyuuga!" he shouted and went inside their room. He searched everywhere, under the bed, inside the closet, behind the curtains and under the study table but still he can't find his wife. He nearly flipped the doormat and turned their picture frame. He'd gone insane now. All because of the crazy numbers.

The wife was currently settled behind the sofa, not breathing. She stuck herself and was now having cramps all over her body. Not wanting to get confronted about the numbers, she chose to hide and suffered the pain. Her lips were bleeding and the metallic taste of it didn't even bother her. All she need was for her husband to calm down and forget the numbers.

It's not her fault. She kept on reminding or rather convincing herself. If one would get close enough, you would hear her cursing the sun, weather, store near their house and even the ants that kept on biting her feet.

"Polka, show yourself now. I'm telling you if you won't come out now, I'm going to..uhmm..I'm going to..ahh..," damn. He didn't know what he'll do but he needed a very damn good reason about the bill. The bill had five digits for goodness sake. Last time he checked, it was only four!

A giggle snapped him out of his trance and he turned to the direction immediately. Aha! He slowly crept to the place where he heard the sound.

Mikan bit her lip instantly. She kept on smacking her forehead inwardly. Calling all the gods out there, she prayed he didn't hear her giggle. "He didn't. Please!" she begged. Her eyes was closed so she didn't see the figure of his husband sneaking a glance to her left.

The husband burst out laughing. He's clutching his stomach when his wife went out of her hiding place. "What were-," laughs "What were you doing," laughs again "there hiding?"

She huffed. "I'm not hiding! I was just..I was..just.." she jumbled her mind to find a reason. "just looking for my earrings! Right, my earrings!" she burst.

The laughter died down and her husband narrowed his eyes. "Oh really? So maybe you know something about the bill?" he inquired.

"What bill?" she asked innocently.

"This one. I'm asking you what happened that put that fifth digit?" he plopped himself on the sofa. He tapped his fingers impatiently.

"Agh..you see, I..It was very hot! I opened the airconditioner," she blurted out.

"We always open that," he stated matter- of-factly.

"I kinda..uhmm..opened all the windows..haha..haha..," she managed to say.

"What? Why the heck would you open them?" his voiced raised.

"I wanted fresh air but it was so hot," she told him, biting her lips.

He was stunned. He didn't know what to think of his wife. That was a mind-boggling statement.

Using his silence, she seized her opportunity. She will seduce her husband. She'll do anything to escape the scoldings. She touched his face and kissed his cheeks. She noticed how it reddened but he instantly hid it.

"I'm sorry, okay? Let's forget about it. Come now to our room," she smiled seductively.

Robotically, Natsume was led to their bedroom. He didn't even know what he was about to say anymore. Unaware, the bill flew out of his hand with the mere flick of Mikan's fingers. The bill was forgotten.

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><p><strong>I salute you for continuing until here. Review if you please. Review if you laughed. Review if your eyebrows twitched. Review even if you didn't read. Please?<strong>


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